The Monster

She laid down, with her head on the pillow, even though She knew She would just be getting up in a few hours anyways. It had been this way for so long it had become almost routine, with the monster coming out at night, eating its fill, then retreating back to its dark corner until the next night. As hard as She tried to just go to sleep, the words floating around her head made it impossible. She got up with a tear in her eye, agreeing with the voices, and headed to the bathroom. Reaching up to the top Shelf She grabs her disassembled razor, and sat in the bath as She drew the razor over her thigh over and over, giving a new meaning to the term bloodbath, until the voices stopped. Exhausted She got up, stopped the bleeding, and got back into bed. Waking up to sound of her parents fighting just ignited Anxiety’s morning announcement. “You are so worthless, you can’t even make them happy.” Depression woke up shortly after, soothing her with the reminder that She isn’t good enough for anyone, so it doesn’t matter if her parents care or not. Quietly, She slipped out of the house, headed to school.

Day after day, each one the same. Anxiety reminding her how much of an annoyance She was to other people, Depression backing up Anxiety, adding comments of his own. Unfortunately both Depression and Anxiety are both nocturnal, only truly coming out at night, when She was without her defences of distractions. Laying in bed alone with the voices tearing her down, a constant assault on her self-esteem. She gets up and heads into the bathroom. Each night this monster, as that is what Anxiety and Depression team up to become, comes out and takes more and more from her. Every night without fail, without anyone to help keep her afloat, She was starting to drown.

The one lifeline She had was him, and He didn’t even know the true extent of his role. He was the one She called when She couldn’t stand against the monster by herself. He understood her more then anyone, yet She still hasn’t told him of the almost daily cutting. He understood She was family with Anxiety and Depression, understood her family dynamic, and her daily struggles with school.

One night, the monster came out particularly aggressive. After a week of daily verbal abuse from peers, Anxiety, and even her parents, the monster had more than enough ammunition to tear her down. She was done. Bawling, she grabs her phones and goes to her bathroom, pausing in the hallway to look out to the living room, her father passed out drunk on the sofa. Crying even harder, she opens the medicine cabinet and takes out the bottle of painkillers, taking half of what’s left in the bottle before grabbing her razor. Shaking, she calls Him, and with a cracking voice tells Him about everything, the extent of the Monster, the cutting, and finally her plans for the night. He soothes her in the special way only he can, every sentence a blow to Anxiety. He tells her to stay on the phone until he gets there. His words cutting Depression back. As he arrives she’s sitting in the tub with a razor to her arm, frozen in place sobbing. He stands her up, and hugs her as he gently takes the razor from her hand. With that final act, he banished anxiety and depression back to the cave it came from. Banished to go back and die in the happiness and joy that she lives the rest of her days with.

Related posts:

Night. Cats in heat cry murder to lovers. Day stir, sleep beyond feral cur nightmare. Light reflects green mirror-eyes of others, right until morning, hide beneath covers , sing tortured songs…

This is an irrefutable fact of life. It isn’t a matter of if, but when. The only differentiating factor between you and everyone else is the degree of frequency and seriousness of your bungling. The…

Ever been the kid in school who wasn’t able to get anything mainstream? During my days in middle school, the Iphone 4 was the phone that most students had at the time. While everyone enjoyed using…